Wedding season is here once again. The best part of any wedding is obviously the reception. You get to see your close friends and family get drunk and make fools of themselves on the dance floor. You’re also likely to hear some songs that really shouldn’t be played at a wedding. We’re not talking about obvious one’s like “O.P.P” or “Candy Shop,” but some that are often misunderstood.
So here it is the ALL-TIME WORST 10 SONGS TO PLAY AT A WEDDING!
10. “You’re Beautiful”-James Blunt
What a perfect song to sing softly while dancing with your new wife or husband. Except…it’s a song about unrequited love. Oh, those musicians, so tricky. Better be safe and save this one for the divorce proceedings.
9. “I Will Always Love You”-Whitney Houston
This one’s pretty under the radar (not in popularity), but it’s most definitely a song about loss. I don’t think I’ve heard this one too often in recent years at weddings, but it was pretty rampant during the 90’s. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t have this one anywhere near on that special day.
8. “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”-Green Day
Don’t tug on Superman’s cape, don’t spit in the wind, and don’t judge a song by its title. Although, I guess if you look at the first part, you get what the band was going for. This one fooled me and it fooled the Seinfeld crew who played it at the end of their retrospective episode. So don’t feel too bad if it fooled you too, just don’t play it at your wedding.
7. “The One I Love”-R.E.M.
Again, lyrics people. Although, I’m not sure how you could mistake this as a love song. The tone is somber and the band’s music is so often satirical that’d you really be crazy to play this one for your sweetie.
6. “Electric Avenue”-Eddy Grant
Nothing better than a bunch of inebriated Baby Boomers dancing poorly to a song about desolation in London, right? In the Boomers’ defense though, the beat and melody suggest dancing even if the lyrics are something out of City of God.
5. “Summer of 69”-Bryan Adams
This one’s kind of deceptive, as Adams wouldn’t have have been in junior high in 1969, much less a rock band…unless he’s like in Hanson or something. Anyways, Adams later admitted that this one was about a much ballyhooed sexual position rather than the exploits of a young musician…although I guess those don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Just think twice when you serenade your sister with this one.
4. “Every Breath You Take”-The Police
Oh, how romantic, he’s going to follow her everywhere. He’s a stalker, but he’s still got moxie. While the marriage may end with a restraining order, probably not best to start with one. I’m still amazed how many newlyweds pick this as their first dance.
3. “Crash Into Me”-Dave Matthews Band
From stalker to creeper. Seriously people, listen to these freaking lyrics before you pick this song for your wedding. Well, I guess what better way to consummate the marriage than to role play as a crazed stalker/murderer. Hike up your kevlar a little more…
The lyrics monster strikes again. This one by Bono & Co. is anything but a love song. Rather, it’s an amazing break-up song up there with “Angie” by The Rolling Stones. Playing this for the first dance was an epidemic in the 90’s, but with divorce rates on the rise, sadly prophetic.
1. “Dancing with Myself”-Billy Idol
I’ve seen this one played before, and I lose it every time. Billy Idol can say what he wants, but if you read the lyrics, there’s no way this one’s not about “punching the clown.” Pulling the taffy? Greasin’ up the rusty trombone? Well, you get the message…I hope. So, the next time you see grandma and grandpa awkwardly dancing to this one, try to keep from spitting up your champagne.