TV’s had its share of terrible hubbies. Some are absent and some are just plain evil. So join us in counting down the ALL-TIME WORST 10 TV HUSBANDS!
10. Doug Heffernan, The King of Queens
Doug seems nice and sweet, but brewing beneath the lovable facade is a heart of evil. From faking a knee injury to play Slamball to skimping on your lasik surgery, Doug is much more sinister than he appears. …And heaven forbid you buy him a Mental Man for Christmas.
9. Tony Soprano, The Sopranos
While Tony seems charming enough, he’s still a freaking mob boss. Plus, he cheats all the time and is fairly cranky. So, let’s see here: potential for being murdered and adultery. Great, sign me up! Plus, poor Carm had to deal with those uber-annoying kids and the worst mother-in-law ever. No wonder she went after Furio.
8. Ray Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond
If having your husband never around is what you’re looking for…I mean really never around, then Ray Barone is the guy for you. From playing golf every weekend to going out of town with Gianni, Ray is rarely home. When he is, he’s unsupportive and inattentive. Worst of all, he’s a freaking terrible dad. When foul-mouthed, Brad Garrett is there for your kids more than you are, you know you’re a crappy parent.
7. George Costanza, Seinfeld
Ok, ok…George never got married. But…he would have been a pretty terrible husband had he not killed his fiancee. Granted, he didn’t actually murder her, but the cheapskate picked out the worst wedding invitations possible, which contained toxic glue. On top of that, he lies about everything, including a potential affair with Marisa Tomei.
6. J.R. Ewing, Dallas
A lot of women say they want to “kill their husband.” With J.R. though, you’d have to worry about people trying to actually kill him. Ergo, the infamous “who shot J.R.?” cliffhanger. Besides being a target for violence, J.R.’s a known womanizer and will sell his soul for the almighty buck.
5. Al Bundy, Married With Children
If you look-up ‘jerk’ in the dictionary, Al Bundy’s picture will be there. The man is stupid, crass, and about as easy to talk to as a bird feeder. Should you be looking for someone who has no idea how to fulfill your needs and doesn’t care either, tie the knot with Al.
4. Frank Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond
If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to be married to a guy straight out of a Muppets balcony, then choose Frank. He’ll insult you, make fun of your physical appearance, and eat more food than Joey Chestnut on crystal meth. Hopefully you’ll be ok with him never wearing pants.
3. Archie Bunker, All In The Family
Bigoted, verbally abusive…Archie Bunker is a perfect TV husband. Sure, he’s funny, but would you wanna live with that every day of the week? He’s pretty much like Frank Barone’s older, meaner brother. …And poor Rob Reiner.
2. George Bluth, Sr., Arrested Development
With George Bluth, Sr., you’ll always be on the run. No literally, as he’s a federal fugitive. If things weren’t working with George in bed, you’ve always got his look-alike brother, Oscar to spice things up. He’s rich, that’s about all you could say is a plus for George, Sr., but you’ll lose all that when they discover he’s a war criminal.
1. Don Draper, Mad Men
Well, he’s a drunk, a womanizer, and an identity thief. Why on earth, would you marry Don Draper? Sure, he’s handsome, charming, and has a great job…but he’ll eventually ruin your life. It’s hard for anybody to sympathize with the crazy-annoying Betty Draper, but you almost feel sorry for her for having to put up with Don’s BS. You definitely feel bad for Megan, who’s considerably more likable than Betty, for having to endure Hurricane Don.
Tomorrow, the ALL-TIME BEST 10 JOHNNY CASH SONGS!